Entry in my journal
February 10, 2006

I want a husband.
I want a man I can sit next to at night
And open our Bibles
And study God's Word together.
I want a man to hold my hand
And pray with me.
I want a man to sing praises to God with.
I yearn,
I ache for a good, long life with a good, Christian man
who will love me and hold me forever.
I want someone to love me
And be at home waiting
And always ready to listen
And then to tell me to just
shut up and just hold me tightly when I cry.
I want a companion,
a best friend,
a lover.
I want this.
But I can't have it yet.
Not for a long, long time.

And I'm afraid sometimes that he'll never come.
I'm fearful that my prince won't find me.
and sometimes it seems to be too hard to see
Everyone else holding hands and happy
And not having that for myself.
Sometimes it's hard, God, for me to be patient
And wait for Your plans.
My mind tells me it will be better,
But my heart is weak
And drifts often.
Forgive me and make me stronger.
Help me to the kind of woman that a good, Christian man would want.
Help me to persevere.
Help me to notice all those around me --
to brighten everyone's day in a way that I can.
Help me to be ready to listen. Give me patience, dear Lord. Give me patience to wait for you,
to wait for my man,
to wait for something purer, stronger, and sweeter
than my own petty desires.