Postscript (PS)

I want to write a book or a story something.
It's a little seed right now, itching to find its way out into the sunshine.
Characters flit through my mind, leaving behind their scent and shadows.
I wonder if it will come through my fingers or not.

Time will tell

Love

There is a yearning deep within me to love people.

Unfortunately I'm not really "good" so I don't have that yearning with everyone. That would make obnoxious and annoying people in my life easier to tolerate. I suppose for that I must learn that golden nugget called patience.

Sometimes I'm not sure that what I do says love to those I love the most. Or even those who love me most.

I'm not patient.
I love to talk - to a fault.
I let my tiredness affect my moods.
I am not always gentle.
I am blunt.
I am not always brave enough to be blunt in a situation that surprises me.

So starting from tonight, I pledge to be kind but wise in my words.
To love fully those all around me.
To listen first and encourage second. My concerns can wait.
To speak sweetly and with love.
To have the courage to speak out when I need to and the wisdom to hold my tongue as well.

There are so many people around me that I have been blessed with. I feel as if I'm not really close to many although I could be.
I always seem to be missing that essential element called time. It slips through my fingers, a whispering silk scarf lost beneath the bridge.

Help me, Father, to love and to live for You.

Upside Down

Tonight has been a strange one.
I learned that a wedding cake to feed all my guests will total something close to $370.
That's $100 more than my wedding dress cost - which I at least will get to keep past the wedding!

And what's more health insurance to cover both me and Chris will cost maybe $400.
I could probably find a house for rent cheaper or as much.

What's the deal? Is there any perspective here?

And I struggle to keep my head above water.
I want to be a good steward of money - to buy things that are useful and will make mine and others lives better. The term "enhance" comes to mind.

Similarly the Christian life is full of backwards ideas.

¹⁶So the last will be first, and the first last." Matthew 20:16

³⁵And he sat down and called the twelve. And he said to them, "If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all." Mark 9:35

I have toturn my world upside down. I have to fight to keep His perspective as my perspective.

And I need His help so very, very much right now.

To Do lIst

In no particular order....
* write a book
* get married
* take more time to spend outside in God's green earth
* get more sleep
* travel
* take a road trip
* go hiking
* read more
* spend more time with my family
* visit my grandparents in Zim again
* have children
* read to small children
* go to a museum
* visit a zoo or an aquarium
* cook more

There. That's my little selfish quota of the day. I do like to dream a little sometimes...

Seeing through more than "kiddie" eyes

Family is a funny thing.

Our reunions are filled with secrets and tears, with shared traits and laughter, with too much good food and too little time.

It’s a blessing, I think, to go to a place with none of the outside world near. “Isolation” is whispered by the trees that cluster along three and a half miles of gravel road. We’re the only people here and we’ve got no internet – and no phone service for At&t customers. A recent and nearby Verizon tower does not leave us utterly technology desolate.

Therefore, we have no default internet to run to. One is forced to demise some other way to pass the time – perhaps conversation?

Family. These are the people we love – the people you can fight with and gripe with. You cry in the kitchen together, clinging tightly to each other – the only tangible thread of hope and of God that can be found sometimes.

You talk in hushed and hot whispers of your heartaches. Reflief is found only in a thin straw of a second chance.

You realize that you never knew the half of it before – you never realized the craggy rifts carved up – the loneliness, the hurt. You never realized what your child eyes had hidden.

You also realize how easily you can love a child. Hot breath on my cheek and h heavy head on my shoulder. Sweet, soft hands tugging on shirts, grasping a finger to climb the stairs.

My heart aches for all that could be but is not.

Yet… Gratitude resonates in my bones – God has blessed us with so much. Slow afternoons filled with relaxation and good conversations, evenings with singing – with interspersed “kiddie” songs (where the adults sing louder than the children even!). The The richness fo sharing a talbe, of holding hands to pray, of the gentle hand of Grandpa on your shoulder. The bittersweetness of remembering Grandma – through photographs and shared memories – and of teaching her name to little ones who never knew her. Knowing that she looks down on us along with our loving Father. Knowing that both she and we are safe in the arms of Jesus.”

Seeing the Beauty of the Whole

We were driving slowly but it was still a breath-taking surprise.  Stretching from one end of the house to the other was a vibrant mass of orange flowers.  God's masterpiece was stunning.

That morning we'd walked by those same flowers - not so beautiful then.  We were close enough to see the dead ones, the wilted ones, the ones with only half the petals - all the flaws were starkly apparent.  We could not see the beauty of the whole.

Of course, they were the same flowers - but when viewed as a whole, one could not help but marvel at their beauty.  The flaws were masked.

Perhaps the church is similar.  Sometimes we are too close to people and their flaws to notice that as a whole, we represent the precious and beautiful body of Christ.  

"for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body." (Ephesians 5:29-30, emphasis added)

So when you look at your brothers and sisters in Christ, tempted to concentrate on their faults and dead attitudes, take a step back and look.  Can you see the beauty of Christ's body altogether?

Fighting Techniques

In the 8^th grade, I could not even bench press the bar, and I’m not sure that I can even now.  I am by no means physically imposing.  The thought of fighting has never crossed my mind.  And I certainly cannot see myself as a warrior.

 

In short, I have a lot of trouble relating to David and his fighting psalms.  Or at least, that’s what I thought.

 

In reality, we do have a common enemy.   He schemes and lays traps.  He fights both blatantly and stealthily.  He is, in fact, the oldest warrior in the world.

 

His name is Satan.

 

Psalm 18:37-42 depicts David’s triumph over his enemies.  It is graphic and descriptive and emphasizes complete eradication of those enemies.

Sounds a lot like what we need to do to sin.

 

To Develop some of David’s Fighting Techniques

1. Pursue the enemy (v37)

“I pursued my enemies and overtook them,

And I did not turn back until they were consumed.”

A necessary part of any Christian’s life is self-examination.  In order to take out the plank in your eye, you’ve got to take a look at yourself and realize that the plank is there.  In order to be able to eat the “meat” of God’s word, you’ve got to develop (which implies the need for improvement… you were not perfect to begin with).

So, there is a need to find that sin in your life. 

 

2. Don’t turn back until it is consumed (v37)

“I pursued my enemies and overtook them,

And I did not turn back until they were consumed.”

We all realize that Satan is persistent – even more so than your pestering little brother. 

He works all the time to capture us – remember the roaring lion prowling around seeking to devour us?  That’s not just on the weekends.

If we want sin and Satan out of our lives, we have to be just as stubborn.  This isn’t just a once-over.  Getting rid of sin is a steady and determined process that takes a lot of pigheadedness.

 

3. Shatter sin so that it cannot stand (v38)

“I shattered them, so that they were not able to rise;

         They fell under my feet.”

Amos 7:7-8 talks about God holding a plumb line up to Israel.  What’s the point of a plumb line?  To show that something won’t stand up or is not straight – it’s crooked or ill-formed in some way. 
What better way to shatter sin – to cut the feet out from under it – than to hold it up next to the straight truth of God’s word?

4. Allow God to gird you for battle (v39)

“For You have girded me with strength for battle;

         You have subdued under me those who rose up against me.”

Are you aware that there’s a spiritual war?  Are you aware of the need to protect yourself?  God is.  He’s provided armor for you.  It’s especially designed to confront the wiles of the devil. 

Right now – are you fighting this spiritual battle or are you succumbing apathetically to Satan?

 

5. Get God to fight for you (v39-40)

“You have subdued under me those who rose up against me.

    40You have also made my enemies turn their backs to me,

         And I destroyed those who hated me.”

God is the one who tips the balance when you face the nine-foot giant.  He is the one to change your widowed life completely by placing you in Boaz’s field.  He is the one who brings your brother back to life after three days of wrenching agony.

Surely, he can help me in my struggle with sin.

 

6. Cry out so that God can hear you (v41)

“They cried for help, but there was none to save,

         Even to the LORD, but He did not answer them.”

1 Peter 3:12 says that the Lord’s eyes “are toward the righteous” and that “his ears attend to their prayer.”  He listens if you’re in the right place. 

If He doesn’t hear you… who’s the one who moved?

7. Empty the sin out of your life (v43)

“Then I beat them fine as the dust before the wind;

         I emptied them out as the mire of the streets.”

Sin is not like wine or cheese.  It does not get better when aged.  It does not improve if you keep it in the closet.  You don’t ever want to be that jean size again.  Shake that sin and all its traces out of your life.  It doesn’t belong there.  It’s like dust that needs to be beaten out of a carpet.

David fought many battles – both physically and spiritually.  He was armed by His God and triumphed.

Are you ready to fight sin?

            

Emily

Her feet patter.

She runs with the others.

Her hair escapes her little braid -

It frames her face

Emily, little jewel

Please don't be fooled.

The world is a big and ugly place.

Stay here.  Be warm by the fire 

of your mother's love.

I watch her chatter.

Her hands paint pictures in the air

She pauses - smiles

Laughs aloud with her little girl laugh

Emily, little jewel

please don't be fooled.

The world wants you soiled, unkempt

Stay here.  Be warm by the fire 

of your mother's love.

One day she shatters

Because of a matter

of friends that were never quite friends.

Oh, Emily come back.

Cry on my shoulder

Oh Emily, little jewel

Please don't be fooled

You've fallen back into my arms.

Stay here.  Be warm by the fire

of your mother's love.

Stay here.  Be warm by the fire

of love that never dies.

A Hammer and (Railroad) Spike

A Hammer and Spike

What is this to you?  What does it mean?  What does it say?  Can you use it?  Is it helpful?

Think not in a general but rather in a personal way.  You Kristen.  Can you use it?

Over 3000 years ago,  a woman used a peg much like this to triumph over an entire nation.  talk about using what was at hand.  Imagine the day – air filled with the tension and muted sounds of battle and blood and death.  The enemy king rides into your camp.  Your hands tremble.  Do you have the nerve to do what is right?  Do you have the tools?

Judges 4:17-23

Funny how being resourceful ended up being exactly what God intended.

Resourceful is a word not found in the Bible.  It is, however, an attribute to be found in many of the Bible’s characters.

Resourceful = having the ability to find quick and clever ways to overcome difficulties.

Let’s take a look at what Proverbs 31 shows about being resourceful.

Proverbs 31:14

14She is like merchant ships;
 

She brings her food from afar.

From this passage, we can see a bit of the resourceful woman.  Even though she is right here, the variety she is able to come up with (in her food) is like a foreign merchant ship.  She is “resourceful.”

Have any of you ever been in need (or want) of something – and you didn’t have the means to get it? 

It’s Saturday night and fellowship lunch is tomorrow.  You’ve got only enough gas to get to church tomorrow.  It’s already 9:30, which means that everywhere in Henderson is closed…

Perhaps you had a bit of oats, raisins, and chocolate chips – so you threw them all into the cookies dough at once.  Perhaps you freeze old bananas to make banana bread.  Old bread for bread pudding.  You’re being… resourceful. 

My Aunt Charlotte is famous for her moist, delectable, basically to-die-for zucchini bread.  What most people don’t realize: she bakes a bunch of them all at once and freezes them.  When someone passes away or if she’s visiting a new member or a visitor, she can pop one out of the freezer to defrost overnight.

Sometimes you have to come up with creative solutions for food necessities.

But the resourceful woman is not contained to the kitchen.

Matthew 25:14-30

What did the two good slaves do?  Invest their money?  Set up small businesses?  Trade in cattle?

We don’t know. 

We do know that the one who unimaginatively buried his talent in the ground was the one who did the wrong thing.

I’m not saying that we need to use imagination with God’s word.  I’m not saying we need to make up and create his commands and expectations for us. 

What I’m saying is that we can be creative and helpful with what God has given us – and how we use it – for ourselves, for others, for Him.

Exodus 2:1-10

Place yourself in Jochabed’s place.  You’ve given birth to a beautiful baby boy.  You can hardly rejoice because you realize that Pharaoh wants nothing but to kill your baby.  You can’t run away.  You can’t hide a child.  You can’t drop the child on someone else’s doorstep.  They have the same problem.  You can’t discuss the situation with Pharaoh.

She takes what she has – a basket – and she waterproofs it with the pitch (I don’t suppose there were specialty baskets designed for sending your child downriver).  She uses what’s at hand for the only option she sees.  She proceeds to hand the entire situation over to…. God.

Sometimes being resourceful means finding the means to give your life and your troubles over to God.

Genesis 3:6-8

Being resourceful only works when you’re following Godly guidelines.

It doesn’t work so well when trying to escape punishment or commands.  Eve wasn’t being resourceful.  She was trying to cover up her own mistakes.

But back to Jael and Jochabed and the men with several talents.  How we can you and I be as resourceful as they?

Ephesians 5:15-16

15Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise,

 16making the most of your time, because the days are evil.

1 Timothy 6:7-8

7For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either.

 8If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content.

Romans 12:13

13contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.

Do we notice the needs of those around us?  Do we see that Joanna needs a new microwave or that Brittany needs new socks?  Do we notice small acts of kindness we can do for others? 

Perhaps you can find another woman struggling financially that has the same size shoe.  Perhaps if you don’t have the sort of house for hospitality you can couple with another friend – get together a potluck of sorts – invite the elders over or a visitor from church.

Being resourceful is finding ways you can serve God with what you have – you’ve got your hands and your mind, right?  Many of you have a car.  Use it to take a friend to church or an older person out to lunch or to the supermarket or the doctor’s.  How are you using the blessings that God has given you to find creative and imaginative solutions for God’s work – helping others and bringing others to Christ?